The Worst Holiday Dessert

Fruitcake is Bad, but How Bad is it?

This image captures what a traditional Fruitcake can look like.

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This image captures what a traditional Fruitcake can look like.

Fruitcake is bad, but how bad is it? This mixture of a variety of candied/dried fruit along with nuts, spices and occasionally soaked with spirits creates a flavorful aroma. 

When asking most people if they had tried Fruitcake they mostly reply with ¨no I would never try that.¨ The question is, is there a reason for that response? 

Fruitcake is a holiday bread that has been around for hundreds of years dating back to the Middle ages. During this time this dish was used as an ¨energy bar(according to Jerry Miller from The Conversation for the Romans so the soldiers could sustain “their energy” in battles. Over time this became a British tradition that was very popular to eat at celebrations for holidays and weddings.

¨ I have never even tried Fruitcake, and never will because honestly all the ingredients sound really gross”, said student Ella Cadieux. 

Cadieux is one of many that agree with this opinion as the ingredients include: dried pineapple, raisins, apricot, dates, canned cherries, and ginger. Along with this this dish also consists of pecans, walnuts and almonds. This dish can also be seen in multiple different variations. 

“Yeah I have tried Fruitcake before, it was the grossest thing I’ve ever had.The taste was unsatisfactory overall. It was weirdly sweet and somewhat dry¨, said Chloe Feltch, a freshman from Winnacunnet High School.  

 Since the dish contains so many dry ingredients ,many use apple juice or cranberry juice and also occasionally some rum or brandy to try to moisten up this holiday bread to make it have a more wet texture yet in some recipes the moisture is cooked out of the bread leaving it dry.

This cake is hated by many and is also used as an insult. This term is used in two contexts, one ¨nutty as a fruit cake¨ implies that this person is whacked, and utterly insane. This term is also used to describe homosexual men. 

A Triton Voice reporter decided to try and make Fruitcake. Unfortunately this dessert came out very wrong due to the bread not rising along with most of the bread being burnt.  “I had put all my efforts into trying to follow the recipe as closely as I could, clearly there is some skill that goes into making Fruitcake, ” said Triton Voice reporter. 

The reporter then went to a store to buy Fruitcake and conducted a taste test. “This is like an explosion of different flavors inside your mouth, not necessarily all good ones. This left me with a terrible aftertaste in my mouth.”, Said the Triton Voice reporter. 

¨I have made Fruitcake once. Not only did it take a long time and a lot of ingredients to make but it was overall a disgusting bread that I would never make again.¨, said Nancy Crean. 

Across the board this dish is hated by non- triers, test tasters, and even people who have made the bread before. Let this tell you whether or not Fruitcake is as bad as it is said to be.