Save Me A Slice!

Is the Chuck E. Cheese conspiracy theory fact or fiction?

A pizza served to Triton Voice staff at Chuck E. Cheese.

Picture this: It is your birthday. You are turning seven years old, and your parents decided to hold your party at Chuck E. Cheese this year. After a day of jumping off the walls with your closest friends from first grade, everyone sits down to eat some pizza for lunch. You’re starving, and you can barely wait to bite into the crunchy crust, bubbly cheese, and ooey gooey saucy that awaits. You notice something odd about these pizzas, though. The slices are misshapen, the pepperonis unaligned, and everything seems to be mismatched. Has the pizza been, dare I say it, spliced together?

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If you are aware of the Chuck E. Cheese pizza conspiracy theory, you will not be surprised by the situation presented prior. For years, Chuck E. Cheese has faced online conspiracies that their pizzas are made from leftover slices. A plethora of images, threads, and videos have been uploaded to Instagram, TripAdvisor, Yelp, Yahoo, and Youtube discussing the hodgepodge pizzas from the establishment.

On February 11th, 2019, internet celebrity Shane Dawson uploaded “Investing Conspiracies With Shane Dawson,” mentioning the Chuck E. Cheese conspiracy and further brewing rumors online. Dawson, who’s channel has over 20 million subscribers, provided minimal hard evidence, however less popular Youtuber, Joe Wahl, even claims to have worked at Chuck E. Cheese for a day. In his video, he includes a recording of a supposed Chuck E. Cheese manager explaining the pizza process–describing “A” and “B” pizzas, “A” meaning freshly cooked, and “B” meaning recycled. The manager’s face was never revealed, however he was dressed in a Chuck E. Cheese employee uniform.

“I really believe Shane’s video,” said senior Mackenna Faucher. Faucher claims she has followed Dawson’s conspiracy series, and the Chuck E. Cheese conspiracy stuck out to her as true.

“If you look up pictures of their pizza online, you can see they’re like obviously put together,” Faucher stated.

Senior Lydia Crowley held different beliefs, however.

“I just don’t know if I believe it,” said Crowley. “I guess I should really hold Chuck E. Cheese to any, like, standard, but they’re serving food to kids. That just seems sort of like a big health code violation or something.”

“I agree with Lydia,” said fellow senior Allie Hawkes. “I mean, I think they do it, but it definitely is wrong. I think the FDA or something should look into this.”

The Triton Voice felt it necessary to further investigate and truly see if the worst rated American pizza parlor on Yelp truly lives up to its name.

Simply put: it did.

The pizza presented to Triton Voice at the chain’s Danvers, Massachusetts establishment, although somehow tasty, was obviously misshapen. Certain pieces were longer than one another, and the outer crust did not form the near-perfect circle one would expect from a proper pizza. It is not a guarantee the slices were recycled from old pizzas, however it is apparent online speculation must hold some truth, at least in this case, about the spliced pizzas.

When shown a picture of the pizza Triton Voice was served at Chuck E. Cheese, Triton students were grossed out, to say the least.

“Again, I’m not surprised at all,” said Hawkes. “I’ve been working at Rowley Pizza Factory for over two years now. I have never seen one of our pizzas come out of the oven like that, so it’s just really concerning that’s what they’re serving their customers.”

The Triton Voice has no evidence of spliced-together or recycled pizzas coming from the long-running family restaurant, however the fact that Chuck E. Cheese pizza has been conspired against for years has evidently raised many questions both online and in school about where food comes from, and whether or not we should have caution when eating out.