Who is ‘Florida Man’?

With the recent string of bombs being linked to a West Palm Beach resident, it is time to ask, what is going on in Florida?

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Valianti photo

Triton junior Connor Kohan examines the van of the ‘MAGA bomber’, Cesar Sayoc, decorated with pro-Trump and anti-Democrat stickers ​(Valianti Photos)

Late last month, bombs were mailed to some of the most prominent figures in the democratic party, including but not limited to former Presidents Barack Obama and Bill Clinton, major party donor George Soros, former Vice President Joe Biden, actor turned activist Robert De Niro, and major television outlet Cable News Network (CNN). Over 30 bombs were sent out, but all were intercepted before they could detonate.
News of the bombs quickly spread and the whole country stood on edge waiting for a culprit. As it turns out, within 24 hours the FBI had found their primary suspect, none other than Florida native Cesar Sayoc.
“Quite possibly the most extreme case of Florida Man to ever come out of Florida,” says Triton junior Mike Farago, “I’ve seen some pretty crazy stuff done by Florida Man but this one might take the cake.”
Farago is referring to the internet meme ‘Florida Man’, a term derived from countless news reports detailing absurd crimes committed by Floridians, meant to serve as a sort of riff on the likes of Superman or Batman. The meme has been hash-tagged 23.1 thousand times on Instagram alone, and a simple scroll through Florida’s news archives will reveal thousands of examples ranging from laughable to almost unbelievable: “Florida man steals 850 undergarments from Victoria’s Secret” ​NBC Miami​, “Naked Florida man threatens passers-by with a sword” ​Fox 30 Action News,​ “Florida man saved from vending machine” ​ActionNewsJax​. All real articles and all real Florida Men.
“Oh I know about Florida Man,” says Triton sophomore Ethan Mosteller. “I once saw one about a guy who killed his imaginary best friend and then turned himself in to the police…only in Florida, man.”

It seems that Cesar Sayoc is doomed to meet this same fate, meeting the criteria for the next Florida Man perfectly. He is a 56-year-old Florida native who lived in the van pictured above. Court records show that Sayoc has been arrested nine previous times for crimes including ​grand theft, battery, fraud, drug possession and probation violations. At the time of his arrest he was doubling as a bodybuilding pizza delivery man for Papa John’s in the day, and a DJ for strip clubs during the night. That was not the only time he spent in strip clubs however, as it has come to light that he himself was a stripper for many years. The story does not stop there though. If one were to take a look at Sayoc’s Twitter timeline, they would see a plethora of outlandish right-wing conspiracy theories. Sayoc claimed that Parkland survivor David Hogg was a government plant, that German Chancellor Angela Merkel was the secret daughter of
Adolf Hitler, and that Oprah Winfrey is masterminding a ploy to exterminate all white people… and those are just the things allowed to be published in this article.
One thing that is abundantly clear from his social media is his allegiance to President Donald Trump. Sayoc frequented Trump’s rallies and re-posted many of his tweets. Even when examining the side of his van, there are multiple pictures of Trump and his allies. Also on the van are pictures of many of Trump’s enemies, some with sniper scopes or x’s over their face, many of whom were recipients of the bombs. His admiration for President Trump has earned him the nickname of the MAGA (Make America Great Again) bomber.
Cesar Sayoc marks yet another addition to the ever-expanding collection of Florida residents to make headlines for absurd reasons. He is far from the first, and it appears he will not be the last, inevitably leading to the question, what is going on in Florida?

̈It’s the education system, no doubt,” says Triton junior Kiefer Callewaert, “When you see a state that has so many examples of blatant and avoidable stupidity, you gotta look at the group of people who are teaching them. Chances are, these people were simply not taught how to act properly and from that, we get Florida Man.”

̈It’s the education system, no doubt. When you see a state that has so many examples of blatant and avoidable stupidity, you gotta look at the group of people who are teaching them. Chances are, these people were simply not taught how to act properly and from that, we get Florida Man. ̈”

— Kiefer Callewaert