If you’re going in expecting Scream to be the next Shawshank Redemption you will leave heavily disappointed. The writing was unrealistic, and awkward. The fear factor portion (because it’s still a horror) was absent. Plus, this film doesn’t even come close to the delightful quality of the original. Despite this, I left the theater laughing my ass off because this movie was a hell of a ride. It is one of those movies where the film itself is bad, but the experience is a gold mine of laughs. 

Scream (2022) is the fifth installment in the Scream franchise (funnily enough donning the exact same name as the original), starring Jenna Ortega, Mellissa Barrera, and Jack Quaid. It is a horror comedy that parodies the slasher genre, much like the first four films. Now to say this movie’s writing is bad is a heavy understatement. Listening to most of the dialogue quite literally didn’t feel real. Judging by horror movie standards, and the standards set by its predecessor, the original Scream, it certainly falls short. From the awkwardly placed f-bombs, to the bafflingly stupid motivations of the antagonists, I won’t spoil it, but it is a complete and utter joke. That’s honestly the only way I can describe it. Now granted, in it’s stupidity it is a funny and enjoyable joke, but a joke nonetheless. The thing is, the funny parts aren’t intentional. The jokes aren’t funny, rather the movie is one of those so-bad-that-you-can’t-help-but-laugh-type of movies. Think Mars Attacks!, or Spider-man 3. Granted, I do hold those movies much nearer and dearer to my heart than the new Scream.

Of course, as this is a horror movie, I have to talk about the fear factor. It’s impossible to take the ‘scary moments’ seriously. I guessed every twist the movie attempted. I guessed every jump-scare, every kill, even who the killers were. When it comes to slashers, they are usually pretty predictable, and often they  follow a formula. Movies such as  Halloween and Nightmare on Elm Street, are remarkably similar at a skeletal level, but still can manage to scare first-time viewers, even with their campiness, and using  their suspenseful music, atmosphere, etc. But Scream has none of that. Even though it is hard to say whether or not the original was supposed to be a scary movie, the only semblance of horror in the new Scream is the fact that it is a very gorey film. Gore alone however, does not make a good horror movie, which is a point made very clear through Scream. 

Compared to the original Scream, this movie doesn’t even come close to the level of sheer quality. The original Scream is a horror comedy icon, and the new one felt like a watered down version of it made to be a cash grab. So much of the movie was similar to the original which definitely played a part in its predictability. The iconic opening scene of the original is used to, admittedly, not great effect in the opening of Scream 5. There are points where it feels like a parody of itself. So while it was enjoyable to a degree, it felt like it heavily lacked originality. This movie really just feels like a joke that has been told five times already, and has gotten stale. 

What’s the verdict? This movie in short, was unbelievably stupid. Extra emphasis on the unbelievably. It was not a well written movie. It was not a scary movie. It wasn’t even a good Scream movie. In terms of how good the movie was, it was a 2/10. However, if I were to rate the experience watching it, it was a solid 7/10. I enjoyed watching it, but it was a dumpster fire. For the best experience, watch it with friends so you can laugh at the mess together.